When it comes to building self-confidence, it really is all about you!
When it comes to building self-confidence, it really is all about you!
When it comes to building self-confidence, it really is all about you!
Has this ever happened to you? You’re sailing along, having a wonderful day, and all of a sudden, you look over at that person “over there” and start comparing where you are, to where they appear to be.
If you’re working on building your confidence, the quickest way to shoot it down? Start comparing yourself, or your current situation, to anyone else’s. As tempting as it may be, it usually doesn’t end up well. Nothing leads to self-doubt quicker than comparison; and nothing kills your confidence like self-doubt!
You don’t know someone else’s back story or circumstances. You’re probably making a lot of assumptions…and you know what assuming does…
The interesting thing for sure? Everyone thinks that everyone else has it all figured out. The truth? No one has it all figured out. NO ONE!
Maybe you’re a high performer, yet, every now and then, you lose track of your confidence. You can exhale now. You’re NOT alone! You’re normal!
Not what you thought you’d read? Let me say it again…You’re Normal.
Exhale.
No one has it all figured out…so what makes you think you have to have it all figured out?
No one is confident 100% of the time…so what makes you think you’re going to be confident all of the time?
You’re human. Full stop.
Even high profile, “have your shit together professionals?” Human. And, because of this - spoiler alert here - you’re going to feel all of the human emotions that come up in life. All of them, including the uncomfortable feeling of self-doubt.
Are you struggling with self-doubt? Not seeing your choices, or recognizing your value and what you bring to the table? Getting caught up in other people’s opinions of you? Or heading down the comparison rabbit hole?
You’re not alone!
Experiencing these feelings from time to time is universal and normal. Absolutely no one escapes this. Sorry. However, staying in those feelings is optional.
So what can you do?
When you make growing your confidence all about you, you’ll start to appreciate that, the trail you’re on is exclusively yours. All your lived experience to this very moment is YOURS. No one else has had exactly the same experience as you and never could.
It’s your uniqueness that makes you…you!
So…how do you remember this, especially when those moments of self-doubt or comparison occur?
Are you willing to give it a try?
Let's get to it...
Your challenge for the next week...
Check in with yourself. When a moment of, self-doubt or comparison, crops up:
- Pay attention.
- Ask yourself:
- What assumptions am I making about others?
- What’s true about me and my particular situation?
- Take a moment to look back at your own path and see how far you’ve come…impressive I bet!
- Remember, it’s quite likely that someone else is looking at YOU in exactly the same way.
- Stay in your own lane…it’s uniquely yours!
Need a personal reminder of what your own confidence feels like?
- Plan for a few minutes here.
- Take a breath.
- Ask yourself to remember a time when you were confident. It doesn't have to be a "big" thing, but it does have to be a real, lived experience. Maybe you knew you were going to be able to open the pickle jar on your first try. Keep it simple.
- Settle in. Start to track through what that actually felt like in your body. Maybe your posture changes or your breath deepens. Just notice what it felt like.
- Notice any sounds you may be hearing in this experience.
- Finally, check in with anything you may have been seeing in this memory. You may notice that your focus changes when you’re confident.
- The takeaway here: You know how to "do" confidence. Sometimes, you just need a little reminder.
You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need; I promise.
Thank you so much for this amazing article Ann on building self confidence! I know I for one have always struggled with self confidence, as I believe many women and business owners do. I'll be certainly implementing some of these tips into my day!
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